Image Source Make way for the hopeless pandemic romantics!
Some quarters are abuzz about an impending “COVID-19 dating tsunami” of sorts when things start to normalize. After almost two years of global pandemic restrictions leaving many to be suffering from heightened social anxiety and ineptness, experts affirm that this may be resulting from being in caved-in isolation for a long time, with extended quarantines remaining uplifted in many areas worldwide.
So how do the hopeless romantics cope during these pandemic times?
Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health’s Epidemiology Department associate professor Keri Althoff Ph.D. analyzes meet-ups during the pandemic.
“Dating is very important, meeting people is very important. These aspects of our lives have to continue, but in a way that’s safe, “says Althoff.
Althoff points out that the goal for a single person should be to carefully search for his ideal partner with whom he shares a similar perception of risk, which “ helps avoid ambiguity even if both people say they are very careful. “
“Having a predefined set of questions in place to make dating decisions easier is very important, at a time when we are all fatigued from constantly evaluating ever-changing risk levels,” she adds.
“To the people in the dating world, I would say ‘Just hang on a bit longer!” says Althoff.
The vaccine continues to roll out in different parts of the world, and if everyone would work together cooperating with social distancing, continuing with the face-mask and face-shield pandemic culture of safety, we may have a much more comfortable social life by the latter part of fall or early winter this year.
Safety First
So when two prospective daters have varying styles of daily routine -- one goes to the gym, supermarket, and crowded stores and the other one never enters a public building --- their date with skin contact and speaking without masks would put the latter partner is significantly higher risk because the other one is regularly exposed to risk.
Single people, says Althoff, should make sure that their prospect for dating opts for safety choices similar to their own before going to the next level of their relationship, to simply be on the safe side.
It’s going to disrupt your life if you fall positive with the COVID-19 infection, and worse, it may include unknown long-term effects of the dreaded disease.
Senior scientist and clinical psychologist Laura K. Murray Ph.D., also from the same school, points out that single people in the pandemic are putting prime consideration to assessing their values and comfort levels before the date, not during it.
“Number one is to figure out where you stand,” Murray says. “Do I feel comfortable with intimacy during this time? What do I need? Am I willing to take risks?”
With dating having its awkwardness and difficulties, the pandemic situation even raises the bar. Yet, Murray points out an upside.
“The extensive pre-date vetting required by safety-minded single people is likely to ensure they develop extensive skills in social-emotional intelligence and communication. That will be valuable for the rest of their lives, whether talking to bosses, family, or in relationships while acknowledging that some people aren’t interested in developing skills, they just want to date.”
Embrace the Mask
Daters usually skip the masks except if there were other people around, experts say.
“There’s something psychological when you like someone, you automatically trust that they don’t have the virus,” said Los Angeles – based Kaley Isabella says. “It’s crazy. It doesn’t make someone safe just because you like them.”
Dickinson College psychology professor Marie Helweg-Larsen says it’s true we are biased toward people we choose to go out with. We tend to underestimate our own risk, “and of course we want people we know/love to share our umbrella of invulnerability.”
“My best advice is to tell the date beforehand that you intend to wear a mask and would like the date to do so as well,” Dr. Helweg-Larsen wrote. “You can also practice what to say if the date is resisting your date rules … or you can use non-verbal communication like stepping or turning away from someone.”
A Minimalist Approach in Dating
Yet Erika Kaplan, vice president of the Three Day Rule Matchmaking membership organization which promotes customized matchmaking, observes that the pandemic has transformed the pandemic romantics into taking a minimalist approach, wary of unnecessary contact.
“Gone are the days of going on dates seven nights a week, “says Kaplan. “People get what loneliness means now, what isolation means. But I get a sense that people will be dating fewer people at a time.”
Much about dating are exploring together, she adds, pointing out that people would go for a partner who shares their values and shares the appreciation for freedom that comes with being vaccinated.
Choose Your “Bubble” Wisely
We all know about that question on “Who would you want to be stranded on an island with?”
Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC) reports that as we are now forced into isolation with whoever else happened to be under our roof, we realize how much our lives are influenced by the people around us.
“Do you surround yourself with people who accommodate you, empower you, and give you a kind-yet-firm reality check when you're losing touch? This makes for a much better desert island – and will make you a better date. “
Reevaluate the Relationships You Invest In and Prioritize
Montreal-based clinical psychologist and friendship expert Miriam Kirmayer observes that while there are a lot of friendships coming to an end, there are other relationships that are experiencing an incredible connection right now.
Loneliness exacerbates symptoms of anxiety and depression, she says, and we also can see the differences in the qualities of our relationships.
“The more we’re struggling, the harder it is to reach out to connect with other people to find the motivation to do that, to embrace those feelings of vulnerability that are so necessary both for coping with emotional distress and forming friendships,” she says.
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